The Five Things That Don't Have to Be Reality...Even If You're a Mom

My Five on Friday is a little different today. It's for all those moms, and moms to be out there that are terrified of all things that people say 'happens when you're a mom'. I saw a sketch on SNL this past weekend, and it really motivated me to bring this topic up. I've tried to write posts in the past but wanted to avoid being accused of "mom-shaming". I just want to put it out there that mommyhood isn't the end of the world, or more importantly, the end of Y-O-U.

SO, here we go.

ONE. 

The "Cut"

You can keep your hair. I've seen moms go for this 'knife in the back' cut shortly after their babies are born. I don't get it. I won't do it. You don't have to either. :)

TWO.

Sober.

Ok, so yes, sometimes you do. (Day drinking isn't necessarily the best idea when you're raising kids) But honestly, parenting is all about positive and negative reinforcement. And the positive reinforcement that gets me through the Toddler Witching Hour is knowing that glass (or 3) of Chardonnay await me as soon as Beckett is in his sleepsack. You can still go out, you can still have fun...you jut have to be able to do that wake up with the  baby at 7. (That's why God made Coffee. And E-Boost.)

THREE

Mom-drobe.

Some people think that by virtue of having a child, that suddenly you cover every inch of your body. No more string bikinis (yes, now you have to double knot them - learned that one the hard way), no more short shorts, no more crop tops -- You get the idea. Just remember, you can keep wearing it all.  Wear what makes you feel happy. If you run around in dumpy t-shirts and shorts, you're going to feel dumpy. Get some cute athleisure stuff, or a cotton romper (feels like PJs looks like clothing...) The thing is, the people who will talk behind your back about your clothing, were always going to talk about you anyway.

Who says you can't go to soccer practice like this? Thanks @Toniatrotter!

FOUR.

The Mom-bod

I've never been a fan of the word 'Mom-Bod" because I feel like its often said in a context that suggests that motherhood is a negative, unattractive, thing. Sure having a child changes your body, but (not to be cliche) beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Sure, I have some extra skin on my stomach. So what. Your body shape and metabolism is controlled  genetics. I will never be a long legged super model. Just ain't happening. I hear so many mothers just sort of give up and say, "well, I had kids so now I have the mom-bod". Sure, to an extent, pregnancy will put you through the ringer. I gained 30 pounds. But it's possible to get back to where you were, or just the new place you want to be. So maybe you don't get back to pre-baby size, but you work hard and get to the best you that you can get to. As I near my mid-30s my fear of getting out of shape is getting REAL. I've spent the last year working as hard as ever to get into even better shape than I was pre-baby. So don't disparage yourself. Don't give up. Do you. And if you're aren't a mom yet, don't panic. Things might change, but it doesn't have to be bad.

FIVE.
Your Kids Will Run Your Life.

So...to an extent...they can and do. I mean, your kid does have to nap. But, it was super important to my husband and I to raise a child that was an addition to our life, not the other way around. We do not overly cater to our child. If we want to do something, we do it. Sure, sometimes we know it might be a horrible idea. But sometimes, that baby surprises us. Sometimes, he flies all the way to Montana and is a DREAM.  Sometimes we take him to super nice restaurants in Palm Beach is totally behaves. And, sometimes he sprays baby food all over the people in front of us at a baseball game (true story). I think kids are capable of more than we realize. So don't skip going to church  because its nap time. He'll figure it out. He'll sleep at church nursery. Or he won't. But its ok. One day won't hurt him. And, I've found, if you live your life this way, your kid gets really good at adapting to change.