Create a 'To Don't Do' List

You'd think being a stay at home mom would consist of 'lunching' and play dates, and shopping trips. You'd think the pressure  would be gone. No working 40 hours a week - no deadlines, no meetings, no managing staff. I thought so at least. Just take care of the kid, and keep the house clean, run the errands. No biggie. In some ways, I feel like I've felt more pressure than ever to be the best. "You didn't get the house clean? What did you DO all day?" I thought I'd have all this time. Time to sew baby clothes, make my own baby food, clean the house, cook a gourmet meal and be waiting at the back door when my husband got home with a smile and kiss. It's not the case. I don't know how my mother did it.

These days I would give anything for a night of uninterrupted sleep. Despite brand new mattress and pillows this week I think I've slept less than when Beckett was a newborn (ok that's a bit of an exaggeration, but it's my best comparison).

Last night the dog set off the house alarm at midnight. (This is the worst because you first have to decide if someone is breaking in, and then whether or not to disable the alarm. I did disable it, and saw that it was a motion sensor. That is, a dog.) The alarm again went off at 3. Then the baby woke up at 5 looking for his pacifier, and once again at 5:45 (this time he was just ready for breakfast, and still thinks it should be 6:45- this time change really throws him off).Suddenly it was 6:50: time to let the dogs out, and feed the baby.

I suppose this is my new normal. The normal of 'mom'. I feel just as busy as when I was working 40 hours a week, and just as tired. Except, I'm not 'working'. Part of me really misses those day of drinking as much wine as I wanted while watching hours of my favorite trash tv, followed by 12 hours of uninterrupted deep, refreshing sleep.

But then I see videos like the one below. And then I realize that my days of getting up at 5 am to give my baby his pacifier (because he has somehow managed to rotate himself 90 degrees around in his crib, leaving the wubanub at the opposite end). I realize that my days of his post nursing cat naps are quickly closing. Sure, I'm looking forward to not being what feels like the equivalent of a human food truck. But I realize that as much as I hate nursing (most of the time) its a special bonding time  - and one of the few times my active 7 month old is still and quiet. I realize that it's ok to have a never ending to do list..that you never seem to get around to completing.

This video was on facebook a few weeks back, and I wanted to share it but forgot. (Typical.) This video helps to remind me to love my sleepless nights, my cuddle sessions and the little smiles he gives you every time he sees you. It reminds me that I don't have to be the best at everything, all the time. It reminds me that just because I'm a stay at home mom that I don't have to be able to do it all. I wouldn't miss these days with Beckett for anything, or any job. While I really miss working some days, I remember that this is temporary, and these days are ones that I will never get back.

Every woman needs to see this!!
Posted by Shelly Carlene Brown on Sunday, September 27, 2015